Alan Hope, known politically as Howling Laud Hope, is a British politician and former publican who is the current Leader of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party.
Statement to voters
We will stand for this election on the basis that its nothing to do with the local constituents and merely a way of hiding finances for our Leader.
We will rename Clacton on Sea to Eric (well it worked for Windscale)
Crime is a big issue in the Clacton constituency. We will reduce it by not having so many By Elections. Thus freeing up Police and money for other duties.
Clacton Peer to have a seat in the House of Lords.
Clacton is a deprived area so we will ensure M.P,s will be required to stay in the area, concentrate on working full time for the area, and not have second,3rd, 4th 5th etc jobs and other interests, such as Astronomy.
We will Ban Intergalatic interference in UK elections.
We will reclaim Dogger Bank from the sea, name it Doggerland, with Clacton as its Capital
Along with the existing Government policy for levelling up the North with the South, we will provide
Free Spirit Levels to all.
AI to be converted to A-Up, and in Scotland AYE (pronounced I)
To help reduce Government spending, we will replace all Government Think Tanks , with a Bucket.
We will replace employees of the Border Force with GP receptionists. This will dramatically reduce the number of people getting in.
To help with the Cost of Living..We will get rid of VAT as it adds no value.
To help raise money for the Treasury we will Convert Numbers 10 and 11 Downing Street into a Hair salon, Which we will call ‘Government CutZ’
We will reduce hospital waiting lists by using a smaller font.
To make things fairer we will introduce a Court of Human Lefts.
